A lot of people cruise through my Instagram and say "Oh wow so you do only weddings?" That's actually one of the biggest misconceptions about my photography business.

The truth is I just tend to do a lot of wedding posts because I do more of them than anything else just by chance. It doesn't mean I do not enjoy the family portrait session, the birthday party, the newborn portrait, the graduate celebratory shot, the model portfolio or the professional head shots. The reason why I've done more weddings than anything is most likely because of how the market is coupled with how much people love to get married!

When the market is good, people are making more money, taking chicks and dudes on dates and falling in love with them and before you know it, they're asking me to be their wedding photographer. Everything else is more "trendy" for the lack of a better way to say it... Weddings are the biggest constant as people have been getting married since the dawn of time.

Family portraits are a matter a targeted sentimental demographic of folks who want to treasure the little milestones here and there. The birthday party is rare because most people have cell phones with incredible quality cameras and the traditional headshots are not as needed now because due to a modern day trend of "lifestyle" photos. People want to see you in your element and get a "lifestyle photo" rather than a traditional studio photo. LinkedIn is probably the only thing that keeps headshots a popular phenomenon. Otherwise, everyone uses "lifestyle" photos for their websites and profile pieces. They should though—what you look like at the studio is not really what you look like in real life. When it comes to selling yourself, people want to relate to you, so lifestyle photos are the best way to go.

This is all purely my opinion though.  I just wanted to showcase all the little things I do so you know that while yes I LOVE romance and weddings, I also love to do all of this too:

Pretty big variety right? That may scare some people if they think that means I don't have a specialty—but I do... People. Almost every one of those photos involved a person. There's a reason I'm bubbly, it's because I feed off human exchange. My compulsive drive to make you happy is what propels me in this customer service business! 

WOW. Jess and I had our first Labor Day Weekend here in Wilmington and we entertained his folks, his brother and brother's girlfriend and it was the best time spending it with family. There must've been something in the air though because I got several wedding photography inquiries on Sunday and Monday for folks that got engaged on Friday or Saturday. Patriotism must bring out the romance! So when newly engaged couples approach me for wedding photography packages, they ask me about prices and then almost all of them asked me who I hired for my wedding.

Photographers are one of the first wedding vendors that couples tend to reach out to so for me, a lot of thought goes into  the best custom palette of wedding professionals for each and every couple. I tell each and every one of them to take their time and get to know these professionals because they are the people that bring your wedding together. They are the ones that you spend most of your time communicating with during your engagement and if you love them, you will love being engaged because you will see how easy it's supposed to be despite contrary belief. 

After Jess proposed back in November 2017, I told myself one thing: that I want it to be about the sanctity of our marriage... not about koozies, flowers, dresses, bridesmaid gifts, or any of that tangible mess. I made myself promise to never bring any stress on my family, on my fiance and his family because stress meant that it was forcing something that wasn't supposed to happen.

I know you won't believe me when I say this, the tangible things I spent about three seconds on, the wedding vendors however, I spent forever on. Here is the dream team that helped Jess and I make our day so special and why we chose them. Keep in mind that every one has different taste, different priorities, and different sentimental reasons for making decisions. Keep in mind I was the last of my family to get married and I'm a wedding photographer for a living so naturally, I just wanted to marry my sweetheart and be done with it. Don't feel like you're making the wrong decision just because I wrote a blog post about it.

Not trying to fool anyone here... we aren't the greatest Christian couples out there—we barely make it to church whenever we're home but Jess and I made it clear from the beginning that God is always first and that's why we wanted a spiritual wedding. We didn't want to forget what it was all about in all the glamor that weddings can create. We went to St. James Parrish before we were engaged and felt like it was a church we could connect with so it made absolute sense for us to get married there. Another drive to get married there was for sentimental reasons. My aunt and uncle got married there over 25 years ago and are still happily married and greatly involved with St. James.

Okay, like I said, last one to get married so we had to go all out and let everyone be able to invite everyone so we needed the space to accommodate that! The Surf Club fit the bill after looking at all the venues that Wilmington had to offer. We also loved that it was by the ocean which made perfect sense for us since Jess grew up fishing on the Atlantic and I grew up a beach girl from the OBX.

Jess basically put me in charge of this for obvious reasons (that he was about to have a photographer for a wife) but I promise I kept asking him what he wanted and he seemed to be completely nonchalant about it. So let me tell you, this was the hardest decision to make probably in the whole wedding experience because I loved everyone I talked to. Everyone had their own personality, their own style and their own way of approaching me, a potential client. The problem was that I had to pick one.

I narrowed it down to picking a Wilmington photographer because of three reasons: 1. I wanted to get to know other photographers in the area as Jess and I had just moved here 2. I wanted to support the local Wilmington economy 3. It was my gut instinct to hire someone within a 30-mile radius (I know super silly but go with it). 

When I met Matt, he supported me with open arms since day 1 before I was even engaged. He welcomed me into a photographer's industry and not only encouraged me to network more and more, but he also referred me to business he couldn't take care of personally.  That little bit of compassion went a long way on making a first impression on me.

Let me preface this paragraph by saying that videographers are not required for a wedding—at all. I am just a highly sentimental person and know how fast weddings go by so I wanted a way to literally pause on all of it after it was all over and see everything I missed. There are also some moving memories you cannot capture in photography—as much as I hate to say it as a photographer. It's true.

I ended up finding out about Luke Brown through my wedding planner (I'll get to her after this) and feel so fortunate to have found out about his name. His artistic but romantic style was everything I wanted. You'll see why when you watch the highlight video yourself. 

Amy happens to be the wife of Matt McGraw, our wedding photographer, but I met her separately through a networking meeting before Jess and I got engaged. We hit it off right away because she was so easy to talk to and just like Matt, as welcoming as anyone can be.

So I'm not going to lie to you, I didn't really need her to plan anything—I was in the industry so I knew the motions of wedding planning. I just personally needed her to be there to tie it all together when the weekend finally arrived. My family is so selfless that they would have done everything Amy did, but that's exactly why I hired her myself. I wanted everyone to enjoy themselves and leave all the itinerary action items to her. She not only excelled, she exceeded my expectations. She took care of me like I was her family. She is multitalented so she did flowers, venue set-up, tended to bitty crisis items, and everything in between. 
  

Went with a local lady that does cakes out of her home. Total inside scoop from my aunt who lives here as well. Our priority was not spending thousands of dollars on sugar. This yummy 5-layer bad boy only cost $400 (average is $1,500 for that size). 

Okay, the one vendor I didn't go local on was one of my very good friends from Jamesville, NC who has her own salon called Ultimate Hair by Chelsea. She's one of those people that fits me into her calendar on her day off when I only give her a week notice. That's how sweet she is. I wanted someone I knew well because after all, you hang out with all day when you're getting ready. Of course she's talented too, but I'm already biased there. What's even cooler is that she enlisted some help from another hair stylist I knew. Her name is Fharren, so I felt like we were all friends just chilling on the porch getting pretty.

For anyone that knows me, you would know that I'm just not a makeup person. I splurge on foundation and by splurge it's $50 on something that lasts almost a year. The rest of my makeup is all drug store nonsense. Needless to say, I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to painting on my face. Isla from Flawless Makeup by Isla was a contact through my wedding coordinator, Amy. I had her do a test run with my bridal portraits and absolutely loved how she intertwined both the natural but glamorous look so I knew she was the right fit. I also loved how she went into the wedding day thinking she was only going to work her magic on three or four girls but ended up doing the entire house of girls because everyone loved how talented she was. The even more amazing fact is that she STILL finished on time whilst also making all my sisters, mom, mom-in-law, and aunt feel confident and pretty. Sometimes this isn't always the case with makeup artists because some ladies get traumatized through a makeover that's so intense to the point where they don't even recognize themselves and it actually moves them to tears. That's why I always recommend to my brides to do bridals because it's a test trial with the dress, makeup, hair and you also get to savor feeling like a princess .

We rented the Surf Club intentionally because they included chairs + tables but we wanted to spice up the tables with some pretty linen. I knew one of the owners of the place, Ashley from working at a non-profit event called The Care Project and remembered she worked in the event rental business. She took care of us like we rented out the whole store when in reality, all we got was just a few orders of beige textured linen! 

We had a budget but also had about a 23 minute trip from the church to the Surf Club so we could only afford to transport immediate family and bridal party (Didn't make sense for us to order 16 different Ubers to get everywhere and too risky for them to be on-time). Azalea Limousine Service gave us a great deal after we told them what we could really pay. I think it helped that our wedding was in the off-season though! Brides and Grooms, negotiate! Everyone is always trying to make a buck so it usually ends up being a win-win. 

This was another contact from my aunt who lives here. Lydia doesn't market herself to the public and does word-of-mouth and referral weddings. We feel so grateful to have met her as she had several weddings in one weekend and still made time for us! Her talent coupled with Amy, the coordinator and our close family friends, we were able to put on wedding decor at an affordable cost.

At the end of the day, you are going to get married and that in itself is a treasure to experience. Don't forget to cherish it because after all, it only happens once! (I'm going to be naive and pretend like divorce doesn't exist in this blog post). 


See you lovers tomorrow for Day 16.

Ps. Jess, thanks for letting me broadcast our wedding photos all over the internet. Love you husband!

I get asked what's in my camera bag A LOT! Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered people think I'm knowledgable about tech stuff so I'm happy to offer insight. So I thought today would be a good time as any to do a detailed post about all my gear and what I use for shooting for Day 14 of the 30 work-day blogging challenge.

At the end of the day, it's up to you to do the research and figure out what you are and aren't looking for. The biggest advice I can offer is going to a Best Buy or local camera shop and hold the cameras themselves to see what speaks to you. See how the body is laid out and if it's easy to learn. Figure out what brand you want and stick with it because it's an investment.  You'll want to gradually buy more and it's easier to buy within brand line. Keep in mind the value is behind the lens, not the camera itself. Lenses are versatile across camera bodies and are made to last several through generations of technology upgrades. For a big bang for your buck, B&H Camera is a good place to shop but price compare all over online no matter what, to make sure you aren't getting ripped off. Retail value is inevitable in the shopping process but surcharges can be avoided.


Camera Bodies: I currently shoot on the Nikon D810 for all my work and have a second D810 body as an insurance policy in case anything happens to my main camera body. I also like to have one camera with a long lens and another with a short so I don't have to spend time switching lens out. It's important to have two camera bodies on me especially after booking important jobs. You wouldn't want to have to cut a shoot short because of some sort of technical difficulties. The reason for two of the same cameras is so that the quality and color is consistent across the board for the images I produce. 

85mm f1.4: The 85mm was the first lens I ever fell in love with and in turn started my obsession with manual shooting a few years ago. When I first purchased it, it didn't come off my camera for months. Even though I have a variety of lenses to choose from, the 85mm is my go-to for portraits because it allows me to not be on top of the person for the up-close look and occasionally for shooting on location when the background is too busy and I need to blur it up a bit to give it that finished look.

35mm f1.2:  The 35mm is another great all-rounder lens for me—it's one step away from being a macro lens so it really gets the wide angle look without the price tag. I find that this lens is on my camera the majority of the time. I love shooting with portraits with it (as unconventional as it may be). The 35mm is sharp 95% of the time, even when you shoot with a wide open aperture of 1.4. I only shoot with a wide aperture for personal work, and usually bump up the aperture to 2 or more when shooting for clients.

24-55mm f1.4: This wide angle lens is a compelling wide-angle perspective combined with an ultra-fast f/1.4 aperture that serves the needs of demanding photographers in exacting conditions like weddings where time is of the essence. This is my 3rd most used lens. It also has VR compatibility so I am able to do some video footage if needed.

70-300mm f4-5.6: This telephoto lens is obviously good for situations where you need to zoom in from a stationary spot. Example, churches with strict photography policies and you gotta prop up in the back and get all the action at the front.

55-300mm f4.5-5.6: More flexibility in this telephoto lens with the extra 15 mm compared to the 70-300mm, and it's also good when you don't want to start out with so much zoom while on shoot.

Speedlight SB- 900: First off, I tried to buy the 910 but with it being ~$800 for one flash, the SB-900 is next best thing. This bad boy has so much lighting power that sometimes you could mistaken a dark day with sunshine just from the light this flash provides. I use this flash on body as well as remotely for strong backlight. ~$300

Speedlight SB-700: Great option when you don't need so much power or light, but just enough to avoid unwanted shadows. This flash also provides a great option for remote flash lighting. ~$350

Induro Tripod: as tiny and insignificant as it looks, this guy is actually well over $400 on a good day —these suckers aren't cheap but they are quality and its sturdiness and light weight will outnumber any other competitor tripods out there. I've been in some sketchy terrain situations and this tripod has never let me down. *Knock on wood.*

D12 Multi-power Battery Pack: Batteries have one constant. They will die. So yes, battery packs are a huge plus. Again, this luxury isn't cheap at ~$425 but it can save your neck. It also offers the option to shoot portrait without having to cock your head sideways.

Memory Cards (not pictured): With long days of shooting, comes a lot of pictures, like thousands so it should come as no surprise that you should invest in several memory cards.  Most of my CF cards are either 16 GB or 32 GB Rugged (temperature and shock resistant). I keep them small to force myself to change out often for a liability reason. The idea of having all my photos on one card gives me so much anxiety if something were to ever happen to them. Card Corruption is a very real occurrence and has even happened to my second-shooters from weddings. If you have a shoot with less pressure, it's good to have a large SD card to allow you a full day of shooting, come home and download and go back to work and not worry about deleting right away. The provides you the comfort of having the original copies until you have the time to double check and make sure that all the images downloaded correctly.

What I take with me. Now, all this gear is super heavy and not always needed for every single shoot. Depending on what I am set out to work on for the day, I pick and choose the gear I need to take with me for the day. The gear that is always in my camera bag includes: 2 camera bodies, all my camera batters + memory cards and all the little extras such as water and food. The gear that I pick and choose what to take with me include: lenses and speedlights. The majority of the time I only take 2 or sometimes 3 lenses that I might need for a day instead of all them, so I don't strain my body when I have to walk around with my camera bag. With all the equipment, it can easily feel like 50 pounds after 5 minutes. After every wedding with two cameras on my body, I always wonder how I'm going to survive it when old age sets in. Between being on your feet for 8 plus hours and carrying 25-30 pounds on you— It's a very physical job so it's important to drink LOTS of water and get a good night's sleep.


Okay, I know that was a lot of words for a picture world so let me know if you have any questions about gear. There's no silly questions either—you don't know if you don't ask.


I know y'all are happy it's Labor Day Weekend so go enjoy it! I will check back in on Tuesday with Day 15 of the 30 work-day blogging challenge.

My mom and  I used to go with my granddad to painting workshops in Beaufort, NC back when I was in middle school (2000's) and we both watched Granddad’s magical acts with his paintbrush and felt inspired to work with an empty canvas. My mom considers herself a dabbler and amateur artist but if you want my (biased) opinion, I have five framed paintings of hers in my husband and I’s house. That’s not amateur, that’s talent! ​With some help from her interior designer friend and my dad, she managed to also redesign an entire building that used to be a franchise restaurant, Western Sizzlin and turned it into Rooster's Southern Kitchen on the Outer Banks. Let me tell you, it's a whole new world in there. 

For Day 11 of the 30 work-day blogging challenge, I'm giving some love for newlyweds Emily and Brian who got married on May 12, 2018 in Columbia, North Carolina. The reason for the shoutout is because we just found out they are pregnant! My husband is very good friends with the groom, Brian, through fishing and Brian was even in our wedding as a greeter. This couple is very near and dear to our hearts so we are so excited to see their family grow! Look at those good looks... they are going to have some stunning offspring.

Their Scuppernong River wedding was absolutely exquisite to say the least. The guests enjoyed the beautiful view, a radiant sunset and the even more pretty couple right in their hometown. Thank you guys again for allowing me to be a part of such a special milestone. You deserve a two-fold congratulations on two big life events in 2018. Gimme me all the stories on parenthood because I need some tips!

Vendors:
Martell's Edenton Party Equipment & Rentals
Yeopim Flowers
Visuals by Helen

The Tiki Time adventure got me thinking… what if I challenged myself to do three things I’ve never done before over the weekend, right here in Wrightsville? Then I made a list of three things I’ve always wanted to do:

1. Blow-out bar: I know this is silly but this is 2018 and almost every girl I know says, oh you’ve got to try it, you feel like a million bucks and you don’t even have to lift a finger.
2. Underwater selfie with GoPro: I’ve convinced Jess to help me try this over the weekend and I literally could not be more excited.
3. Walk the "Wrightsville Beach" Loop: This is a local must-try because you get to go all through Wrightsville Beach and Harker’s Island and slowly take it all in. I’ve lived here for over a year and still haven’t done this 2.5 mile loop and it is something I’ve wanted to do.

So I’m going to challenge myself to do these three things, attempt to take photos of it and talk about it on Monday for Day 9 of the 30-Work-Day Blogging Challenge! In the meantime, y’all go out there and surprise yourself, do something you’ve never done before and I promise, you will delight yourself with what life has to offer.

Bad habits sound negative to most people, but to me, bad habits just sound like a side effect of being human. Everyone has them, it's just a matter of whether or not they realize it. I took a poll from the general public asking if people would anonymously submit their bad habits to me and I was pleasantly surprised in the answers—some of them bring such a good laugh but some are really humbling to see how honest people are with me. Here's what habits you told me about:

-Drinking a bottle of wine every night (actually got this three times)!
-Picking my nose until it bleeds.
-Throwing recycled goods in the trash out of laziness.
-Only taking poops at work to avoid using TP at home.
-Always saying no when someone asks about hanging out.
-Not washing my face before bed.
-Biting my cuticles.
-Sitting. It's been 5 years since I last exercised.
-Binge-watching Netflix until 2am almost daily.
-Throwing my cig out on highway. Oh and smoking.
-Shameless self-tanner so I'm permanently orange.
-Farting and blaming it on other people.
-Going straight to the junk food aisle every time I'm at grocery store.
-Never keeping cash on me + using my bank cards.
-Rarely tipping Uber drivers.
-Feeding the dog scraps after dinner and now it's 15 pounds overweight.
-Smoke too much pot that I don't know how to chill without it.
-Can't be alone so I find a new friend to hang out with every night even if that means spending money each night.
-Eating ice cream every night before I go to bed (and sometimes not brushing my teeth so I can savor the taste). 
-Not drinking enough water.

Self awareness can be a blessing and a curse when it comes to bad habits, but it could also lead to making a change if you don't like the bad habit. I've been around a lot of people that have been critical of themselves, saying they could do this better or that better but cut yourself a break. As long as you don't have habits that hurt other people, it's not the end of the world. If you do have a habit that negatively impacts those around you, then do something about it. Be the change.

Here are some of my bad habits. They may seem silly but they are things I do too much:

-Impulse purchases on Amazon. Last week I bought joint-pain management weed treats for Belle after seeing her having a hard time getting up and down off the floor. Too early to know if it is working yet but fingers crossed it takes the edge off of her arthritic pain.

​Tomorrow's blog post will be about tonight's adventure to a place we have never been before, just 16 miles down the road. On the Cover page of Our State Magazine, they feature a restaurant called Ocean Grill and Tiki Bar in Carolina Beach in the NC by the Sea edition. This little gem is about to get a few more visitors.

After yesterday’s blog post I opened up the floor to what today’s blog post should be about. According to the survey, y'all seem interested in what my typical day is like. Y'all— I'm really not that interesting but this question was asked several times so I'm not going to deprive you of your wishes. Keep in mind, I never have the same day twice so this is a rough timeline:

6:30am | Wake up and hit snooze (once or twice admittedly).🤷

7:00am | Actually wake up, feed Belle, drink coffee, and watch the Today show for news and weather. 📺

7:45-8:15am | Answer e-mails from my photography and graphic design e-mail accounts (Yes, I have separate emails for both to better keep up with my separate clients and I have that many to go through that it takes all of 30 minutes). 💻 

8:15-11am | Jam to loud music from Spotify and carefully edit + retouch photos from recent photo sessions or weddings. 🎧
 
11am-12pm | Graphic design work for small businesses I help on a regular basis. 💭

12pm-12:30pm | As marketing director for Rooster's Southern Kitchen, I'll screen for negative feedback to relay to management and respond to positive reviews on Google, TripAdvisor, Yelp + Facebook. 🐓

12:30pm-2pm | Eat lunch (usually dinner leftovers) and do one thing that helps promote my business, i.e. post an ad, print materials, work on blog, etc.🍴

2pm-5pm | More photo editing (I have to spread it out throughout the day so I don’t drive myself crazy because it can get tedious after several hours. For perspective, an 8-hour wedding takes about 16 hours of editing). 📷 Here's my favorite photo I've edited today so far. The color + vibrance reminds me to stop and smell the flowers, literally and metaphorically.

5pm-5:30pm | Work on blog content or schedule a post on social media for my clients and/or myself.

5:30pm | Orange Theory Fitness class or an evening photoshoot depending on day.🏃‍♀️

6:30pm | Grocery store run since store is next door to gym🥫

7-8pm | Shower + Cook dinner. Let's be real, Jess is the master chef and I'm the sous chef. Tonight we're having short ribs, sautéed squash zucchini and onion and mushroom risotto.  🚿

8pm-10pm | Eat and watch Parks and Rec with my husband (Don’t judge us. We like having something funny to watch at the end of the day and neither of us had ever seen it so we started the season together).😂

For today’s self-promotion project (that occurs every afternoon), I started on making some more soft-copy portfolio books to give to potential clients with small businesses in Wilmington. This is a culmination of both my photography + graphic design skills. My goal is to bring these books to small boutique clothing businesses looking to gather lifestyle or product content for their websites, blogs, social media posts, and social media advertising. Those of you that have a small business probably know how important it is to stay relevant to your fans online so by having a whole lineup of professional photos on standby takes almost all the work away for you in the social media realm. You just figure out what product(s) you want to promote that day and roll with it. I got about halfway done with this 20 page portfolio. MY goal is to have this sent to printers by labor day weekend. Crossing fingers.🤞 Down younger is a couple of teasers for you:

To sum it all up, I sit in this desk chair for about 8-10 hours a day and my goal is to get up more often to walk and stretch. We all know sedentary lifestyles aren't good for you so why do we continue to do it?

For tomorrow's blog post, I'm going to talk about all (okay most) of my bad habits so you know I am just as human as you are.

Last Friday, I wrapped up Day 3 of the 30-Workday Blogging Challenge with the question: How does my hearing loss affect my job, much less my everyday life? I promised some embarrassing stories that I’ve accumulated over four years that are a direct result of my hearing loss. My top five is the time I walked in on a half-naked couple in a photo booth...(they weren't taking photos so the flash wasn't going off so I didn't think anyone was in there). Needless to say, they quickly got dressed and ran out... so I ran in and stayed until I stopped blushing. I probably could have avoided moments like this if I could hear. I would've heard kissing sounds or something, but nope, instead I got some PG-13 action at a high-dollar wedding venue instead. 

Here’s the abbreviated version of the rest of my top 5 stories. (All my client names are going to remain anonymous because like I said: it’s embarrassing).

1. In the winter of 2016, I was photographing at a small country club wedding outside Charlotte, North Carolina. The bride and groom wanted to get ready at the “locker rooms” of these clubs, which are basically bathrooms for senators with toilets, showers and changing space all in one room. When it came time to capture the groom getting pretty,  I knocked on the men’s locker room door and didn’t hear anything. Assuming they were distracted and getting boutonnieres on, I just let myself in. Thinking the men's powder room was a similar setup to the ladies—they were in fact the opposite as the men's stalls were right where you walked in. Let me tell ya—it was stinky in there! The grooms friends were laughing and I heard a stern voice from the middle stall:  “Be right out!” I was so caught off guard I actually said “Shit, take your time!” I’m not even the type of person to cuss much less accidentally make a connotation about poop while the man is making a brown egg. 

2. Usually before every wedding, I finalize wedding day itineraries but sometimes little details get left out, like *After formal family photos, we want to do bride+groom photos across street on the beach on a random property then ride over to reception which is also at the beach 2 miles away.* so when they told me, “Let’s do our photos at the beach” after their family photos, I just assumed they meant the beach where their reception was. In hindsight, they said something like the Beckham cottage, but the lightbulb never went off that I didn’t hear them right. Instead, I speed out of the church and hurry to find a parking spot at the reception so I can meet my second-shooter and prepare for their arrival. After about 30 seconds, someone in the family says “Hey, that was fast, weren’t they doing photos with you at the beach?” After connecting the dots, I ran back to my car and back over to the church and see them across the street on beach side looking for me. I was flabbergasted in how I could have messed up so badly, but you live and you learn right? Now I’m extra thorough and ask all the detailed questions in a pre-wedding questionnaire.

3. In the summer of 2017, I booked a 20-person sunset session with a large family I didn’t know. One of the daughters had e-mailed me a few days prior saying there was a divorce in the family and to not ask her mom and dad to be photographed together. Her dad was in town for one night so they could get a family photo taken together. Come the day of portraits, I introduce myself to three different sets of grown-up couples and their children and I misheard the names so what did I do? I asked the mom and her ex-husband to give me a big fat kiss. Well, that tension could have been sliced with a dull butterknife. The mom turned plum red but I promise I was a shade darker.

4. This story is from two weeks ago when I was meeting a potential bride and her mom at a local coffee shop. I had rushed out of the house and forgot my purse, which carries my extra implant batteries. I didn’t think anything of it until my cochlear implant dies halfway through the meeting with them. Trying to win them over and gain their business, I proceeded to rely on lip reading for the next 20 minutes. I just asked them a lot questions so I would always know what the context was. I was scared that that if I told them what was going on, that they would wonder: “What if she shoots our wedding and her implant dies during it and she forgets her batteries and she won’t be able to hear anything. Is she responsible enough?” They are so sweet though so I should have given them the benefit of the doubt. All that lip-reading worked though, I’m happy to report that I’ll be photographing their wedding this Fall with a camera bag full of extra implant batteries.

Having significant hearing loss brings embarrassing moments, sure, but they eventually become great dinner table stories. Having a sense of humor about things like that is SO important if I don’t want to crawl into a dark hole and stay there.  On the same token, my imperfections also helps me in my job sometimes—especially during weddings with a lot of drama or in photoshoots involving divorced couples. The oblivion to the details that most people would get from eavesdropping sometimes helps me stay uninvolved and provide a sense of nonchalance and carefreeness. My oblivion to the temporary reality seems to sometimes helps people feel normal despite their insecurities and worries.

Yes, I wear a hearing device that help me hear so much better, but they aren’t human ears—I don’t hear everything and and I sure don't hear everything perfectly. Because of that, it took me a long time to get over being socially self-conscious about the side effects of my imperfections. My confidence has grown to the point where I’m telling the world about my hearing loss on this blog but there are always days where I wonder what it’d be like to be following along conversations with graceful effort. My husband has asked me why I'm always more tired than him after events and I tell him “Because I have to work harder to listen and make sure I don’t say something completely out of context.” He usually replies with a sweet laugh “It’s usually so funny though Helen, don’t even worry about it.” I literally have wrinkles on my forehead from concentrating so hard on conversations in the last 27 years but I’m just so thankful I can even be a part of conversations. Technology has enriched my entire life and has allowed me to hear my husband and my family say the three most beautiful words in the English language: I love you. One man is responsible for that...Thank you  Dr. William F. House, the inventor of the first cochlear implant for braving skepticism and trial and error to restore a vital human sense. Essentially, his invention has restored the quality of life for 324,000 people and counting.

​Confession: I just put Belle in the video just to brag about how cute she is. She's usually the only company I keep in my everyday work life and she's the best co-worker a girl can have (even though she just sleeps all day). Yesterday, I skimmed the surface of how deaf I am and already got tired of talking about my hearing loss so I’m moving on to the money makin’ stuff. Obviously, my hearing loss limited my job options when I was fresh out of college in 2013. With an economy that had also gone to sh*t, this artsy English major struggled to find a stable job to be proud of. No sense in sugar coating that because I know about 80% of you may relate to that time in your life. After doing some soul searching and teaching art at a school in Atlanta, Georgia for a year,  I decided to move back to the Outer Banks and  gamble on myself by starting my own business. In the Summer of 2014, Visuals by Helen was established. Best decision I ever made.

Creating a generic business name like Visuals by Helen was intentional: I wanted to be able to open myself up to additional visual opportunities beyond photography like graphic design, videography, marketing, etc.  I wanted more than one thing to be passionate about. I had learned some of the ropes from another local photographer on the Outer Banks throughout high school and college and then I dipped into graphic design when I was in Atlanta so that opened a whole new niche I was fascinated with.  After watching You-Tube videos, subscribing to every Adobe software, and taking an online business certification course at the Kenan Flagler Business School at UNC-CH, I was the owner of my own company in three months time.  Now, I label myself as a self-taught photographer, graphic designer, and marketing guru. Funny how that happens right?  I always had the belief: if you make something your homework, it takes all the fun out of it.

The first thing I do when I brand Visuals by Helen? I ordered about 3,000 beer koozies with my logo on it and made a promotional video because koozies and videos make everything look legit right? My theory was everyone likes free stuff and something pretty to look at. After rallying a gorgeous model named Katie, a talented hair stylist named Chelsea, and an amazing videographer named Jess, we went into the marshes of Wanchese, North Carolina and I took bridal portraits of Katie in a wooden rowboat. Looking back on it, it sounds nuts, but it was some of the best memories in my business! That video got me through two years of wedding expos with the Outer Banks Wedding Association —it was the perfect icebreaker with engaged couples I had never met before.

​Check out the video:

So the question of the day: Would I hear you and turn around if you were standing here in the office with Belle and me? Yes. I'm hard-of-hearing, not oblivious. Some days I actually forget that I’m 90% deaf but then little things happen and I’m like oh yeah, my ears don’t work. I have embraced it as a part of who I am and even introduce myself everywhere I go as “Helen... like Helen Keller” because well... I AM almost deaf and have -2.25 vision in both eyes so I basically am Helen Keller. Only not as accomplished since I can’t communicate through sign language or read Braille so definitely not as decorated as her but that’s by personal choice. ​

Let me first say, every hearing impaired child is different— they can have different reasons for hearing loss, different audiograms, different parents, different schools, different lifestyles, different resources, different decisions so every outcome can be unique for each person with the same diagnosis. So for those of you that have hearing loss or have family members with hearing loss, know that you need to take this post with a grain of salt. This is not a success story or a horror story, it’s just story that happens to be mine.

December 1990 was a big month for me—coming into the world and all. A couple months later, the whole chicken pox incident happened.  Mom and Dad say it was pretty bad but of course I don’t remember. It was life-threatening but my immune system won that battle. However, the pox was strong enough to eradicate the hair cells in both ears leading to a progressive loss of hearing over the next six years. This was before hearing screening tests were required for small children so my parents didn’t think too much of my slow response and development as an infant. They were trying not to compare me to what society thought was normal. Then one day, a family babysitter took my brother, sister and me to a parade and noticed how soundly I was sleeping during a marching band performance —triggering some red flags and an eventual conversation with my parents. By the time I was a year old, my young parents had to make a life-changing decisions while working and raising three young kids:

1. How were they going to treat my hearing loss?
2. Was I going to do sign language or learn cued speech?
3. Where was I going to go to school?

They decided to move to Kill Devil Hills on the Outer Banks because the schools there were supposedly excellent for an Eastern NC town and the undeveloped beach town was ripe with business opportunity. They tried supplementing my residual hearing with hearing aids for a few years but my language and speech development remained stagnant and unprogressive. By the time I was eight,  Mom and Dad decided it was time to try cochlear implants. Because I had “too much hearing,” I was considered a guinea pig for this surgery. Until me, doctors at UNC-Chapel Hill had only performed surgery on individuals that were more deaf than me.

For those of you who don’t know— a cochlear implant is an electronic medical device that was invented in the early 80’s, that helps mimic the function of normal hearing. Unlike hearings aids, which amplify sound (make sounds louder), cochlear implants do the work of the damaged parts of the inner ear (cochlea) and provide sound signals to the brain.  There is a tiny receiver that is surgically placed under the skin in a bony part behind the ear that also has a magnet attached to it. On the outer surface of the head, the individual wears a microphone that harnesses the sound from the environment and transmits the sound as a signal to the tiny receiver underneath the skin and sends the signals down a flexible man-made fiber that’s connected to the cochlea that helps tell the brain: “Hey you just heard that.” I know that sounds terribly scientific and complicated—perhaps a visual video could help explain things better than I can…  I practically failed Bio 101 at Carolina for a reason, your girl is not science-brained AT ALL— so don’t be embarrassed if you have no idea what I Just said. Just know, technology is amazing and I’m genuinely grateful to be born when I was and to be born into my incredible family.


Long story short, technology, my family and my speech therapists have helped me feel as “normal” as I do. My family was a testimony of patience as there was not one single person on the Outer Banks that had my type of hearing loss or cochlear implants when I was growing up. They didn’t have other parents to talk to, there weren't facebook community groups, cochlear counselors, nothing —they had to figure it all out on their own. They eventually introduced me to an incredible speech pathologist named Kathryn Wilson and she literally changed my life. She and her husband even came to Jess and I's wedding this year because she means that much to my family and me. During the language development days, Kathryn helped me identify the way words were supposed to be spoken. Because of my time with her coupled with patient teachers and modern technology, people tell me almost every day “Wow, you don’t have any deaf speech.” Hearing the shock behind their voice when they say this always amuses me. The reason I don’t have “deaf speech” is because I can hear myself well enough and auto-correct my voice.  My husband and mom both say I have a very slight deaf speech and talk more quietly when I take my implant out—which makes sense because I can’t hear myself.

So how deaf am I? Well, let me put it this way, I will enjoy sleeping peacefully at night for as long as I can until babies maybe come into the picture. Until then, my poor husband will wake up every morning to a vibrating alarm clock (click here for a photo of it) that shakes the bed to wake up us both.  That is usually the only time in an average day that I think about the silence around me. Sure phone conversations, loud restaurants and parties are more challenging to me but that’s just part of it—I just tell folks my situation so they know I’m not being a b*tch and ignoring them and people tend to adapt politely.

From my first surgery in 1997 until 2011, I wore a body-worn processor... You'll see it next to my right breast in the above photo from my Camp Trinity days in 2007. I called it my third boob. Technology has evolved significantly in the last ten years that it has drastically changed my lifestyle for the better.

In the Summer of 2011, I had surgery for a second implant on my left side and with that came more modern technology. The one you see in the above photo is called a B.T.E (Behind-the-Ear) cochlear implant. Having the ability to not wear a special bra, not have three boobs and be able to hear was an incredible milestone for an awkward and socially-growing twenty-one year old. It was my first semblance of independence to be able to wear a bathing suit and continue to have conversation. It's the little things that make this beach girl happy.

In the present day, I get goosebumps thinking about how much my life has changed since 1997. Now I wear a magnetic Med-El Rondo that is completely wireless on my head and away from my ears. This device change was crucial for me because my ears would get so sensitive and sore after long hours. Wearing my glasses with my B.T.E. was unheard of because it felt like 10 pounds were sitting on my ears. Being the active person I am, the B.T.E and its batteries could not sustain the sweat I was producing from my workouts. (Sweat weirdly sits around my ears versus in the top of my head). Don't ask me why.

In a nutshell, God knew what he was doing when he gave me a 'fro during puberty so I could cover up my implant even though I have nothing to hide. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier if people saw the implant and would immediately understand that I don't hear well versus having to explain it. But I like feeling like a normal person in society because I am a normal person. Drawing attention to myself is not my cup of tea because that's how my personality is but I'll talk about it any day of the week if you ask. Nothing you ask me can offend me.

So with all that said, it should make sense that I’m in a visual industry. My ears don’t work so I use my eyes.

Tomorrow’s Blog Post: “How do I make a living doing just photos?” Well that’s the thing, I don’t. There’s more to what I do than just photography. I just didn't really broadcast it… until today.

#30dayblogchallenge